Thoughts on Prom Night

As I read the headlines this past week about a young man, who, at 24 years old, is facing prison time for vehicular homicide, my thoughts turn to prom night.  I find myself praying that this scene is not played out again on Sunday morning.  You see his image on the news, a young adult on the cusp of starting his life, facing a life or much of his life, in prison.  The image of a young man who is trying to grasp the reality of what just happened, facing a very frightening and uncertain future.

Prom, the social event of the school year, a rite of passage.  A time when many teens feel that drinking will go hand in hand with their big night out.  Many seem to think what we too once thought, that drinking goes hand in hand with "fun".  There are many adults, parents, guardians, I am sure, who have already had the conversation with their children that they have more chances at fun without the use of drugs or alcohol.  Sadly however, there are also those who seem to be resigned to the fact that their teen will drink, perhaps they feel certain that their teen will drink responsibly, that their child will know "when to say when".   Let's think about that, children, knowing how to be responsible about their drinking,.... come again?

I recall with far too much clarity, the three mornings that I awoke to a phone ringing in the early hours of the morning.  Too early for a social call, to hear those words we all dread.  I would never see those friends, ever, again.  The simple decision to "have a few drinks to relax" ends with a life gone, either deceased or facing prison and the knowledge that they have killed someone, they have robbed a family of a life, of a loved one.  Then there are those who seem to think if their children do not drive, or do not get into a car with someone drinking and driving, that they will be safe.  There are over 3,000 alcohol related deaths a year that do not involve driving.  Alcohol poisoning, or bad judgements, lost inhibition and getting into a dangerous predicament.  Lives shattered with one decision.  With just one motion, the act of putting alcohol to their lips and taking that first sip.  The intention of those victims in most cases was not to get drunk, rather the intention was to 'have a drink or two and relax', so much for that. 

Many may hesitate to start the conversation, the fight that may ensue, the dreaded eye roll, the "Ya, I KNOW".  I am sure many choose to believe that their children know better.  We tell them to call if they are in a sticky situation and feel certain that they will.  However, in all honesty, at their age, at the time in their lives when they feel sure they know it all, will they call?  If every teen in that position had called home the alcohol related deaths in this country would be exponentially lower than where they stand right now. 

Let's not forget about cases like Stuebenville.  I am quite sure that the parents of those teens never had any inclination that their sons would find themselves at the root of a rape case after one night out with friends.  I am sure that the parents who thought they were providing a "safe place to drink" never planned to be brought up on charges for providing alcohol to minors, whether they provided it or not.  By providing their home, those "adults" (I use that word loosely in this case) are now facing losing everything, reputation, careers, friends and some very serious financial repurcussions.  Many of the teens who were in attendance that night, even the ones drinking "responsibly" are now also being brought up on  charges.  They may have had the misconception that they were in control that night, and lacked the judgement to not post some very serious photos on facebook. Just by being in attendance, and making that split second decision, guilty. Those adults, those children, now have records for life.  So much for college, so much for that career, so much for your successful, happy child.

This is a very real and very imminent threat.  We should all be frightened and we need to make sure that our children understand the weight of their decisions.  They are on the threshold of a very bright and very happy future.  Let's remember that it is our job to be role models, our job to guide them, it is our job to make certain that they have all the facts that they need to make well informed decisions.  They are looking to us for guidance. 

Please let's remind them that it takes one second to say "no thanks" and in doing so to save their life, and perhaps that of a friend or two.  They need to understand from someone who has been there that alcohol has quite the opposite effect of "relaxing" or helping you to "have fun".  That instead alcohol and drugs carry some very serious and very harsh consequences, the least of which will include a very nasty hangover, nothing considered to be "fun" or "relaxing"!!

Let's not be afraid to open the dialogue with other parents, the other adults in our children's lives, to make sure that we are all on the same page.  Let's confirm plans for a safe, drug and alcohol free evening, let's choose to save a life.  I would rather wake up to a healthy, happy teen, mad at me or not, than to wake up to a state trooper on my doorstep.  It only takes one decision and two words, "no thanks" to save a life.  We have some amazing young adults in this town, let's make sure they continue on their path to a bright future.