Can Daddy Stay Home?

There’s a famous song by Joni Mitchell with lyrics that state, “You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone”.   I couldn’t agree more.  We always wish for something better to come along, whether a house, car, or marriage. These items could be new, flashy or just different.  Then reflection sets in and you realize it wasn’t so bad before.  What was I thinking?

Children have a funny knack of assuming that they will get what they want, when they want it.  It’s up to parents to retrain our children’s brains. This brings me to the point of my story.  In the past, my children have asked that my husband and I trade places.  They wanted me to go to work for 12 hours a day and for my husband to stay home.  I know what you are thinking, “How sweet!”  They love their dad immensely and vice versa.  My husband wishes he could spend more time with the kids too.  They were constantly asking, “Why can’t daddy be the one who stays home?”  This made me feel like the ham sandwich everyone wants to trade in the cafeteria at lunch time.  Images of Rodney Dangerfield chanting “No Respect” echoed in my ears.  Okay, I relented.  They’d get their wish when I visited my sister in Atlanta last fall.  This was the opportunity they’ve always wanted.  I was looking forward to my escape…I mean visit.  My children were thrilled to have daddy all to themselves and bad ol’ mommy out of their hair for 4 glorious days.

As the days arrived for my trip, my daughter started getting nervous.  I reminded her of all the fun things daddy had planned while I was away.  I promised I’d call 3 times a day just to hear their voices.  She wasn’t taking this trip lightly as was my son.  He kept a count down of when I left.

“Mommy, is this the day you leave?  How many more?  When will daddy and I get to hang out without you?”

I would provide him with the dates and saw his smile grow brighter with each passing hour.  The date of my trip arrived.  They drove me to the airport excited and full of hope for their upcoming days with their father.  I kissed their beautiful faces and missed them already.  (I hadn’t stepped foot into Logan yet).  My daughter started to cry.

“Mommy, I don’t want you to go. Please stay!!” I told her all would be fine and I’d call as soon as I landed in Atlanta.

My son was beaming. He had ideas and games in place for all the fun activities planned during my absence. He kissed me goodbye and that was that.

 My first full day in Atlanta, I talked to the kids five times. My daughter really missed me and wanted me home. My son hardly talked to me on the phone.  My husband and he had played with Legos and created amazing games together.

My husband had several questions for me however. “What time is dance?” and “When do I get them from the bus stop?” etc.

The third day of my trip, I was getting phone calls from home.  My daughter wanted me to come back and help out daddy.  He didn’t know the same things I did.  Then the phone was confiscated by my son.  His voice was a strained whisper like that of a kidnapped victim begging for help.

“Mommy, when are you coming home? I miss YOU!”

“Daddy is no fun.  He’s making us do all these boring errands and won’t make my favorite foods like you do!”

I promised him that when the sun came up the next morning, I would be on a plane home to them.

When I found them at the airport waiting for me, it took my breath away.  I missed my babies and my husband immensely.  Apparently they missed me too-alot.  They realized when mommy isn’t around it’s not so great.  The kids have to remember that daddy is fun, and refreshing.  They enjoy it when he jostles them before bed time (don’t get me started on this) and tells them amazing stories that I can’t compete with, but he’s the novelty. When they had him around for more than a few hours they came to the conclusion mommy isn’t so bad after all….I was no longer the ham sandwich.

 To all the dads out there I hope you are appreciated this Sunday and every day.  Happy Father’s Day to my dad, husband and all the father’s out there!